It has been a long time since I’ve prayed. Really prayed. Really tried to talk to God. I’ve sent positive thoughts out, but real prayer? It has been longer than I can really remember.
Sol said to try it. I didn’t. But right now I’m out of ideas.
It seems like every week there’s a crisis within me. A breaking point that is reached. Every. Week.
Therapy holds the promise of slow healing.
But the world moves faster. I need to do something now. So here it goes.
God. I don’t think you ask for much. Faith. Effort. Prayer? I don’t know what I believe but I believe that if I need to talk and have no one to talk to, my words will end up somewhere. Please. I need a helping hand. I only ask that I can be shown what I need to do. It may be right in front of me, but I don’t see it. I may stand in my own way. I need help to see it. I don’t know what I should be looking for. Maybe I shouldn’t be looking. I want to be able to love. I want to be able to trust in myself, my feelings, my mind. I want to be able to love myself. Not just think of myself. I want to be able to receive love so that I may give it. I give affection and care, but do I really give love? No. I want to become better, before it is too late. I don’t think I can do this on my own. Please.