oh, hello

xmas shit

lessdramatic — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 17:32:08 +0000

– (in no particular order)

- blue/green plaid shirt (abercrombie, hollister, gilly hicks)
- striped purse (nasty gal)
- lace mini skirt, black or white (nasty gal)
- camel coat
- navy wool jacket
- black dress (uo)
- green wallet (uo)
- sparkle & fade shirt dress (uo)
- black mini skirt
- converse all stars, black or white
- fujifilm instax camera, bhphotovideo.com
- purple wedges (bakers)
- friendship bracelets
- new tires
- socks
- big sweaters
- pink blazer
- flat black laceup boots, eagle peak 2 (bakers)
-

stuff

lessdramatic — Mon, 28 Nov 2011 17:08:48 +0000

my lovely parents bought me BOTH pairs of boots that i want. le sigh.
there is another pair of shoes that i want…but can’t find! even online (lace up/buckle booties! seychelles)
and another pair from dsw (black pumps! js by jessica)

also on my wishlist/to buy list:

- pay library fines (300)
- new tires :( (84 each)
- oil change :(
- car repair (?)
- denim shirt (madewell, 80)
- lace dress (f21, 20)
- navy blazer
- leather pants
- olive shirt dress (uo, 60)
- clairsonic brush heads (sephora, 40 for 2)
- suspenders
- a tie

lessdramatic — Sat, 12 Nov 2011 05:15:55 +0000

grande cafe misto w/ one pump SF vanilla + 2 pumps SF hazelnut & 2% milk
white chocolate mocha w/ cinnamon dolce
white choc mocha w/ java chips + choc syrup
white choc mocha w/ peppermint, choc syrup + green tea
vanilla bean frapp w/ cinnamon dolce
choc chip frapp w/ peppermint + 3 scoops matcha
strawberry frapp w/ toffee nut (2)
vanilla rooibos tea latte
frapp w/ espresso beans ground in
coffee frapp

lessdramatic — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 19:29:46 +0000

- wedge boots
- denim/chambray shirt
- lace dress

http://www.generalpants.com.au/store/womens/dresses/lace-tube-dress-1000035426.html

http://www.revolveclothing.com/DisplayProduct.jsp?product=FREE-WD402&AID=10568535&PID=2687457

american apparel

http://www.urbanoutfitters.com/urban/catalog/productdetail.jsp?id=23625684&itemdescription=true&navAction=jump&color=001&selectedProductSize=false

http://www.asos.com/ASOS/ASOS-PETITE-Slash-Neck-Lace-Dress/Prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=802836&SearchQuery=black%20lace&Rf-700=1000&Rf900=1465&sh=0&pge=0&pgesize=200&sort=-1&clr=Black

http://www.asos.com/Angel-Eye/Angel-Eye-Lace-Dress/Prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=1861334&SearchQuery=black%20lace&Rf-700=1000&Rf900=1465&sh=0&pge=0&pgesize=200&sort=-1&clr=Black

http://www.asos.com/ASOS/ASOS-Lace-Bodycon-Dress-With-Open-Back/Prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=1846570&SearchQuery=black%20lace&Rf-700=1000&Rf900=1465&sh=0&pge=0&pgesize=200&sort=-1&clr=Black

http://www.asos.com/ASOS/ASOS-Bodycon-Dress-With-Lace-Sleeve/Prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=1816864&SearchQuery=black%20lace&Rf-700=1000&Rf900=1465&sh=0&pge=0&pgesize=200&sort=-1&clr=Black

http://www.asos.com/Pearl/Pearl-Sequin-Lace-Dress/Prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=1809687&SearchQuery=black%20lace&Rf-700=1000&Rf900=1465&sh=0&pge=0&pgesize=200&sort=-1&clr=Black

http://www.freepeople.com/dancing-in-the-dark-lace-tunic/_/searchString/lace/QUERYID/4ebc23a2575c1f35fc000ab0/SEARCHPOSITION/36/CMCATEGORYID/683d4023-53f5-4900-b5ce-ecf465df31a9/STYLEID/22203202/

http://www.freepeople.com/viscose-voile-slip/_/searchString/lace/QUERYID/4ebc23a2575c1f35fc000ab0/SEARCHPOSITION/47/CMCATEGORYID/683d4023-53f5-4900-b5ce-ecf465df31a9/STYLEID/19735059/

http://us.asos.com/countryid/2/Oh-My-Love/Oh-My-Love-Lace-Skater-Dress/Prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=1915135&MID=35719&affid=2135&siteID=J84DHJLQkR4-rYBiVcpPhgcKa8tOTTwQxA

- long-sleeved dress
- leather pants
-

http://parkavenueprincess.tumblr.com/

lessdramatic — Sat, 09 Jul 2011 20:27:50 +0000

i do not understand how you can think it is nothing when i am actually upset, but when i am not upset and just feeling crappy and need your support you think i am mad or upset or in a “snit”. i do not understand it at all. i do not know how to go forward if i can not count on you to help me when i need you.

you confuse me. you make me want to cry.

i feel terrible and heavy when you ask me what is wrong and you are not even listening when i try to tell you. i do not feel together in this. i do not feel like you have my back. even when it is something small.

my head aches and my body hurts and i am tired. now i just feel like i want to throw up.

are you here for me for real? will you be there for me when it counts? or just when it is convenient?

Arrest this heart

lessdramatic — Fri, 17 Jun 2011 08:23:01 +0000

“The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails.” – William Arthur Ward

A life-changing opportunity for him. I am beyond happy for him because I know it is what he wants and that it is a step towards reaching his full potential. I know that he will be amazing. It is rare that someone is given such an open chance to do what they are “meant” to do. He is my best friend and more than anything, I want him to be happy and fulfilled.

However, my happiness for him is clouded by my love for him. And maybe some selfishness. And by a sinking feeling that if it came between his happiness and our relationship, I would ultimately want him to take the opportunity to reach that potential. I cannot help but be pessimistic about how this will turn out.

I am apprehensive, doubtful, nervous and scared. I am very much in love with him. There are things I consider necessary; I cannot feel comfortable in a relationship that relies on indirect communication. Physical intimacy.

I will commit myself to trying. To adjusting. I have a heavy feeling in my chest.

He says that worrying and letting doubtful thoughts consume my thinking will sour the next two months before he starts the new position. He is right, of course.

What scares me? A move. An uncertain schedule. Less time than now.

He is committed to making this work. To him “work” doesn’t just mean “functioning”, happiness and fulfillment count.

He says that when he was first offered the position, his thoughts did not first go to its challenges, its opportunities. After the initial excitement (I am assuming that came first) he thought of our relationship. H was right in thinking I thought differently of his train of thought.

He says I am important to him. I am reluctant to ask him to quantify that. Not with numbers, but relatively.

I want to be someone’s priority. Maybe I have not yet reached that part of life.

I want him to share his feelings with me.

I want to know what we can do to make this work. He says he does not want to make promises.

A year in a month.

lessdramatic — Thu, 02 Jun 2011 07:54:10 +0000

what am i afraid of
what makes me sad
what makes me nervous
what hurts
what triggers it

i don’t know where this comes from everytime
i just know it comes without warning
i’m fine, then i’m not

and it’s like a dam has broken and my mind is jumbled and words come out and i’m where i was two weeks ago. angry but i don’t know exactly why. upset but i can’t explain it. arguing. helpless. wishing i could be different. wishing i could take it back. not wanting to keep everything in i did that for too long. but this is just as bad. wanting to explain myself but it comes out wrong and at the wrong time. feelings i feel now won’t be there tomorrow. won’t be there when we talk about it. i don’t trust anyone else with these feelings. except my sister. and they don’t come out when i talk to her. i trust you. i want to talk to you. but maybe you’ve had enough. it’s not fair. i don’t want you to be the one it comes down on. but who else? no one. it’s not right.

today wasn’t the first day that hurting myself has crossed my mind. but it was the first day it was actually an option.

by today i mean yesterday.

i can’t do it anymore. you’re freaked out. i’m a mess. you say you love me. i say i love you. i don’t know where to go from here.

here it comes

lessdramatic — Sat, 19 Mar 2011 00:36:46 +0000

on my way to work i felt the anger and frustration. the first rumblings of my “frenemy”.

at work i felt the all-too-familiar feelings that he was mad at me or something. feeling like he doesn’t communicate with me.

i can handle this. it’s better than the jealousy.

trying to keep my head right now.

plus, a giant pimple :(

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lessdramatic — Fri, 25 Feb 2011 19:44:51 +0000

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He said

lessdramatic — Fri, 28 Jan 2011 02:08:01 +0000

He said that I’m the most important person to him in the world.
He said that I shouldn’t get so angry about the small things.
He said he wasn’t going to fuck up heavily.
But that if I sweat all the little things…sure, he is going to fuck up.
He said that I’m the last person he’d want to be angry at and blow up at.

I want to be a better person.